Ok, due to my Kindle Fire being so amazingly, super awesome I am currently reading a Jesus book, a parenting book, a husband book and a food book. Thanks to Amazon, I now pray before "knowing" my husband and am grateful after dinner (that "knowing" comment comes from Genesis, read it sometime, good stuff, Moses rocks). Right now I'm in the midst of finding a deeper relationship with Jesus (Not a Fan book) and divorcing my even deeper relationship with food (Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst who is also an amazingly awesome writer). So far none of my topics are overlapping like I thought they would. I'm managing to keep everything straight for now...
I've never had issues with food. Not ones I would admit. I say that because being 110 lbs through my early twenties until I met my future husband (blame blame blame) I was happy with me (so I thought, lie #1). I could eat whatever I wanted, didn't really care what it was (pizza is my dirty little secret I'll tell to everyone) all the while not realizing that my 20 year old metabolism was why I could eat anything I wanted. Then comes late 20's early 30-nothings and with the 30's comes reproduction (blame the husband, he "knew" me all to well). So 2 babies in 4 years created a road map to my sole of stretchmarks and a belly button no longer where it belongs (which I think I've shared before). Am I still happy with me?
I've stressed for too long of what the "post" baby me looks like. Here is my reality... If I had the old me back I wouldn't have Colt Levi and Riley. There is a trade. Pray and ask God for 2 amazingly, super, awesome (too much?) kids without paying a small price to bring them into this world or have the skinny me back who was lonely and frequented bars entirely too much prior to happiness? I think this one is a no brainer.
I say all this because just this morning someone asked me if I was pregnant again (belly button thing). Sigh. If she only knew the "armor" that closed that fort after Riley she would not have asked. Its not her fault that she asked and honestly I think she is probably more mortified than I am about even asking that question. I can either let that rock me and run as fast as I can into the arms of chocolate chip soft batch cookies or I can reflect on what good has come to me in the last 4 years. Life doesn't stay the same and we change for the better. I made a choice not to let it rock me cause this me, confident, wife, Mommy, I sure do like her alot.
"Each lost pound was not a quest to get skinny but evidence of obedience to God." Lysa TerKerust-Made to Crave
I will go before you
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.
I will give you hidden treasures,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.
I will give you hidden treasures,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
Isaiah 45:2-3
The answer is yes. I am happy with me because God went before me and said my life was to be great and that works just fine for me.
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